i will struggle you, because i love you.

i am so depressed while writing this... my mom told my dad that i have bf and also told him that i will introduce him in my graduation ceremony. with all shock, my mom seems dont like him, and my father.. oh God forgive him, he always mock my bf. My dad said my bf is not equal to me because he is only a high school graduated. i have told him, my bf is a great man, he is strugling to continue to university now, he saved money when he worked in Japan, he work for his family now, also paying his brother and sister school fee. i am sure he is a great man.... he is the first man who really show me love. well... now i am crying while writing this. in Islam, i cant marry a man if my father doesnt allow me to marry with that man. Because as a muslim, parent's persmission is number one (and now honestly i dont like this right now).

my parent insult him everyday in front of me... it is make me sick, i feel broken heart and i cant do nothing. just nothing but silent.
my dad said i am egoistic. He said by choosing a "poor" man :'( i dont think about my next generation. but.. hellooooooooo see us dad, we are also not a rich family, how come you have a high expectation. He said, at least i get someone with higher education (read: he will be a rich man). hhh....

i love bang iman, how come i will leave him with that (my parent) reason?????? why dont pity me just remember the way they marry, they both come from uneducated and poor. nothing the had before but love.

i have to respect them as my parent and i dont want to be lawless. everyday, i cry after praying. I told everything to Allah.. only Him i can hold right now and i belive if i meant to be with my bf, there will be a way.

i want forget what my parents say, it is me that have to be happy not them. If my plan to spend the rest of my life with this man then that is my decision and you should not let anyone stop me. My parents should be supporting me and if things go wrong they should also be there for me wither they think the decision i made was right or wrong.

i will strugle you Iman... i will keep trying to get my parent approval. however, I will return entirely to God. During the remaining time before my parents actually forced me to leave you or married to someone else. I want to be the best for you... because i love you. i will remember you in my whole life time... (well, now i really cant stop crying).


There is no power and no strength but with the help of Allah the Most High and Exalted, please... please.... please.... i want to be with him forever.


here is my first perfect red rose from him, i will keep you in my heart, may our love will beautiful like this flower. keep faith... dont give up....