who teach me a true love?

Love is fragile. And we're not always its best caretakers. We just muddle through and do the best we can. And hope this fragile thing survives against all odds. (The last song)
Love is something that always interesting to talk. People can life well and die because of love and sometimes you have to be apart from the people you love, but that doesn't make you love them any less. Sometimes it makes you love them more. well, who teach me about true love?

First is Allah, He teach me true love by His love, the air to breath, a place to come when i desperate to everything. Second, is my mom, I have to say i dont really closed to her because we stayed together when i enter my high school. But many times i see woman gives birth when i am in hospital teach me that, only a true love that can make my mom born me at that time. Then... i have to admit someone there teach me for the first time how it feels of being loved. He is old, someone i meet in internet, i love him as like my father. You know, i feel so regret because i run away from his love to save my ex feeling, but now i am not afraid of admit this, i dont care . He is like a friend, worrying me, looking for me when i am not around (in the internet), gift, care, talking, and everything. Then, my child friend, she is in Malaysia now, working. I love her like i do to my self. We are together since we are in junior school, singing together, cutting hair with the same style, i also like to cook for her. After all, they who teach me love is my ex (s), of course even i am not a true love for them.  I dont know what i have done or what i didnt do that make everything happen to make me sad about love. I feel i have push them to leave me without i realize it. or..may be i leave them, while i realize or not.

We're not perfect. Any of us. We make mistakes, we screw up but then we forgive and move forward. Yes, sometimes we have to forgive ourselves because we leave someone who love us, or hurt them but we even cant say sorry for that. Then, forgive them who already teach us love. Forgive God who sometimes didnt answer our pray, forgive someone who stop trying to looking for us, forgive mom and dad for every little and big things and that make me feel sad about, forgive my ex who may be bored then ignore me and doesnt allow me to have even only a memories with them.

remember, they... they have give happy feeling before hurt till we forget about broken heart. Every heart will know something hurt after happy and happy after hurt, it calls balance. 

well, now, try to stand up, enjoy my own life, forgive my self and them. I will buy flowers to my self, buy a nice thing that can make my self happy, smile in to  my self, going to beautiful place, meet new people. I have to prepare my self to get a new lesson about love and telling everything to them before they leave. The truth...

Truth only means something when it's hard to admit! Don't you get that?

^___^